It's Different Here
Americans residing in France sometimes have difficulty adapting to French manners and customs.
Good sense should prevail, of course. People living here – whether European, North American or South American or Central American, Asian, African, or whatever – are expected to conform to French tradition and, more appositely, to French law. A carefully practiced Bonjour, Madame ! or Merci bien, Monsieur ! can and will go a long way to establishing an atmosphere of cooperation. A smile never hurts, either, as long as it's placed at the right moment in the conversation. However, here one shouldn't expect the same things or assume the same reactions as in the USA. On that path lies trouble.
It's different here; not necessarily better, certainly, but different. If one is planning on living, working and procreating happily in France for any length of time, a bit of self-development is required. Asking oneself "Why did this go wrong ? What did I do ? What did I not do ? What do I have to do next time to obtain the desired result ?" after an unsuccessful – or frankly disastrous - encounter with the French is always a good idea. This introspection might require unaccustomed effort on the American's part, but it will be worth it in the end.
Divergences sometimes arise in the most unexpected places. Playing on the grass in a park, for example. Parking one's vehicle on the street. Facing the tracasseries of French administrative paperwork. Trying to shop at a small shop at lunchtime. Dealing with bank tellers or postoffice personnel.
One might hear French men and women say les américains sont de grands enfants when they are exasperated with Americans, who seem in French eyes to reason like children: impulsively, with immediate personal gratification required. Americans should understand that France is a country designed by adults for adults, not for children. Here, as an adult, it is one's responsibility to make oneself aware of the relevant law or custom before one acts, not afterwards. One shouldn't expect to be told how to act, either, unless one is under 13 or over 70, when "100% adult" behavior is not necessarily possible, desirable or expected. One shouldn't plan on finding a sign or a bulletin board briefing one about how to behave. This generally holds true throughout France.
Comprehending this definition of "adult" - and accepting it by putting it into practice on a daily basis - can significantly reduce the disheartenment felt when things seem to spiral out of control and even a simple task appears to take far too much time and energy. For foreigners in France for the long term - and especially for Americans - familiarization with the French concept of adulthood is the key to a happy, productive life.
L'Amerloque
Good sense should prevail, of course. People living here – whether European, North American or South American or Central American, Asian, African, or whatever – are expected to conform to French tradition and, more appositely, to French law. A carefully practiced Bonjour, Madame ! or Merci bien, Monsieur ! can and will go a long way to establishing an atmosphere of cooperation. A smile never hurts, either, as long as it's placed at the right moment in the conversation. However, here one shouldn't expect the same things or assume the same reactions as in the USA. On that path lies trouble.
It's different here; not necessarily better, certainly, but different. If one is planning on living, working and procreating happily in France for any length of time, a bit of self-development is required. Asking oneself "Why did this go wrong ? What did I do ? What did I not do ? What do I have to do next time to obtain the desired result ?" after an unsuccessful – or frankly disastrous - encounter with the French is always a good idea. This introspection might require unaccustomed effort on the American's part, but it will be worth it in the end.
Divergences sometimes arise in the most unexpected places. Playing on the grass in a park, for example. Parking one's vehicle on the street. Facing the tracasseries of French administrative paperwork. Trying to shop at a small shop at lunchtime. Dealing with bank tellers or postoffice personnel.
One might hear French men and women say les américains sont de grands enfants when they are exasperated with Americans, who seem in French eyes to reason like children: impulsively, with immediate personal gratification required. Americans should understand that France is a country designed by adults for adults, not for children. Here, as an adult, it is one's responsibility to make oneself aware of the relevant law or custom before one acts, not afterwards. One shouldn't expect to be told how to act, either, unless one is under 13 or over 70, when "100% adult" behavior is not necessarily possible, desirable or expected. One shouldn't plan on finding a sign or a bulletin board briefing one about how to behave. This generally holds true throughout France.
Comprehending this definition of "adult" - and accepting it by putting it into practice on a daily basis - can significantly reduce the disheartenment felt when things seem to spiral out of control and even a simple task appears to take far too much time and energy. For foreigners in France for the long term - and especially for Americans - familiarization with the French concept of adulthood is the key to a happy, productive life.
L'Amerloque
Text © Copyright 2005 by L'Amerloque
posted by L'Amerloque at 1:12 AM
4 Comments:
I've had no difficulty adapting to French customs or manners ;). Seriously, there are so many small differences between the cultures it's hard to be fully prepared or to get over the fact that they just don't make common sense.. but I agree, it's best to learn from errors and adjust behaviors because it will make living in your adopted country much easier.
Hi Auntie !
You're absolutely right: there are (many, many) differences between the two cultures. (smile) It's very difficult to adopt one's behavior. It can be – this sounds a bit trite, I know – a daily struggle.
The trick is knowing that one's behavior just might not be the appropriate one and asking oneself before and not after the fact.
The example on your blog of the American teenager using a flash in a French museum was edifying and summarized the overall problem in a nutshell. The person didn't see a sign prohibiting a flash, and went ahead and used it. She expected to see a sign saying "NO FLASH" (I'm not addressing the language problem. (smile)) She flashed, and the museum guard started shouting. (sigh) She was behaving as she would have in the USA. Hopefully, at any rate, she learned from her experience !
L'Amerloque
bravo...well said. Malheuresment, many Americans still and always will feel the sense of entitlement that assume comes with the Nationality.
I am learning by my mistakes and remembering the lessons.
Having lived in France while in college helped a lot to prepare me for my new life here with my French husband. Also, having him too is a good example. It takes seeing an American outside of the US to notice how different we really are. Though, I wouldn't say that I am typically American having grown up in a Korean/American house, I am still shock at how American act when they are in France.
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